Sigh....

Monday I have to go back to work. I have mixed emotions. This summer has been THE BEST in a long time. The girls and I kept busy and really accomplished a lot of fun things. But, at the same time, I am kind of excited. I have a new position (again) this year and a new schedule, working three full days a week instead of five halves... which is super, duper awesome when I think about only having to everyone up, dressed, fed, and out of the house three days instead of five.... Four day weekends? Yes, please!

I've also realized I have to make a decision about continuing to nurse Hattie. Yes, I know there are women who successfully return to work and pump. I am not excited about that prospect. I hate pumping. I hate pumping at work even more. It's loud, it's time-consuming, and well, I get all nervous and full of anxiety, which can be kind of counter-productive when trying to fill bottles of milk... Hmph. 

So... transition her to formula. No big deal, right? Funny, because I quit breastfeeding Maggie around 3 months, and Lucy didn't quite make it to 6 months. Hattie will be 6 months old (very) soon.... and yet I don't have that "I am SO ready to be done with this" feeling yet. Tonight, as I was feeding her before bed, and listening to the big girls play downstairs, it hit me. With two older sisters, Hattie's nursing is some of the ONLY one on one time I get to spend with her. It's the quiet few moments we get to share without someone else wanting to be part of the action. She gets quality time with momma. I get to stare into her big, blue eyes and caress her little fist as it lays across my chest. It's quiet. It's peaceful. And it's just us. 

Grrr... .this motherhood thing is tough sometimes. 

And seriously... who could resist this face?