Letting Go....

I'm so grossly behind on blogging. Ugh. I really thought NOT working this year would leave me with tons of time for stuff like this. WRONG!

Anyway... I had to take a few quick minutes to write about yesterday. Earlier in the week, Lucy came home with a large, green piece of construction paper with an outline of a Christmas tree on it. The directions were to decorate the tree as a family, and send it back in to be displayed in the hallway at school for the holidays. I put it aside, with grand ideas in my head of stringing real popcorn on it, making fancy "lights" out of foil, and just really making it the epitome of Christmas awesome-ness. In the meantime, Lucy asked me about the tree every day. I kept putting her off... there was always something else that needed to get done- grocery shopping, making food for Dan's hunting trip, laundry, balancing the checkbook, and about 15 new ""ruler" orders that I got just this week. 

Finally, last night while I was putting groceries away and trying to get dinner made, I was explaining AGAIN to Lucy why I wanted to wait to work on her project. Maggie piped up with "I can help her, mom!" Ugh. I KNEW the creation made by a combination of a six year old and four year old would look NOTHING like the amazing project I had already created in my head. But... I was having company over the weekend. I wanted the paper off my countertop. And Lucy doesn't have school on Fridays. And it would keep them busy while I made dinner. So.... (and I SOOO wish I would have taken pictures of this...) they sat at the kitchen table together and drew PLANS first (so totally, totally my girls) They made "sample" trees on scrap paper and planned what kind of decorations they wanted. First, they used watercolors. Then, they got out out the sequins and crafts and carefully arranged and rearranged the decorations. They asked if I could make bows (because our Christmas trees ALWAYS have bows!) so we found some Christmas ribbon and tied some bows. They glued all the goodies on... and then carefully explained how they wanted the glitter glue to go on (which I wasn't quite ready to allow them to do!) And... my favorite part? They had planned to put FIVE red sequins on it- one for each person in our family. While the ornaments weren't quite big enough to write each person's name, we did manage to include an initial for each. So stinkin' cute. 

So... while the tree looks NOTHING like it did in my mind..... it turned out amazing. Watching the two big girls work together and plan the decorations together warmed my heart more than a "picture perfect" art project. And... Lucy was SO PROUD! 

One of the hardest parts of motherhood for me is allowing my kids to be more independent. I mean, I KNOW how important it is... but it's so,so hard. First, because I know most of the time what I can do can get done in half the time and turn out much better (making  their beds... agghhh!) Second, because, selfishly, I HATE that they are growing up and needing me less and less for some of these things. This morning while I showered, Maggie combed and "styled" her own hair for school. Um.... it was HARD for me... but I let it go. I realize the hit I take to my controlling, Type A personality is nothing to the self-confidence and independence growing within my girls. 

Now, check out that Christmas tree:
(And, even better? Check out the smile on that kid's face!) 

Pure Awesomeness

Tonight I had the most awesome "mom" moment. I don't even really know how to put it into words, so I'll just show you a picture instead: 

We were all snuggled in the recliner tonight while Maggie read us a Fancy Nancy book for her school reading log. While we were reading, Hattie disappeared and came back with "Good Night Moon" and tossed it at Maggie saying, "Book! Book!" As soon as Fancy Nancy was done, Maggie moved the little girls to the couch and read them both another book. 

It kind of breaks my heart to see my girls growing bigger each day, but so cool at the same time to see Maggie become this person.. this "reader"... this awesome, incredibly caring big sister. 

Awesome mom moment. 

Love these girlies...Love this life...

Life... at home....

Now that we're a good, solid few weeks into the school year people have been asking me how I like being a stay at home mom. Mostly, I smile and say "It's so great!" and then try to change the subject. In all honesty, I DO (mostly) love it, but to say that it's perfect and wonderful and awesome... that would be a lie. 

I LOVE not having to get up and go to a "job" each day. I like that I can take a walk in the sunshine with my kids. I love being able to hang out in the evenings and help with homework and bike riding and lunch packing and not have the ever-present hum in my brain about all the stuff I have to do for work. 

With that said, I hate the feeling of "what should we do today?" that I wake up to each and every morning. For some people- that would be such a blessing... to have every day as a blank slate, filled with endless possibilities for adventure. I, however, am a planner... and having no "plan" for each day...well, it stresses me a bit. I'm working on getting into some sort of routine and hoping that helps. While it is nice to have the freedom to do whatever I want, I'm also on a very tight budget... which leaves some of those "endless possibilities" not so possible... 

I also miss "grown ups." Desperately. I love, love, love my kids... but sometimes I want to talk to grown up people... about grown up things. I shared an office with an awesome co-worker last year, and worked on a team with some amazingly supportive people... who I miss tremendously. I miss talking about how hot Bradley Cooper is or the great deal I found at Target on a pair of shoes for Lucy. Unless it has to do with Elmo, Hattie isn't much of a conversationalist when we're home together in the mornings....  Last week I had a doctor's appointment, and (other than Dan) that poor nurse who checked me  in was the most conversation I've had with anyone over 4 feet tall in days!

So... do I love being a stay at home mom? 
Pretty much.

Because I get to be home EVERY day to watch Lucy bounce off the school bus and tell me about her day.

Because I get to be the one to hear Hattie say new words for the first time, like "color," and "apple." 

Because I get to volunteer to teach Maggie's Sunday school class this year. 

Because, ultimately, I realize I will have the rest of my life to "talk to grown ups" because God knows, my girls will be all grown up soon enough. 

This is the look on Hattie's face when she sees Lucy's bus come down the block.... 

THIS face alone is worth staying home for!

PS: It totally helps that I was invited to join a BOOK CLUB that met for the first time tonight. I cannot begin to tell you how energizing and refreshing it was to sit with other women and talk and drink wine and talk some more! Just what I needed!

18 Months!

Holy bananas! Miss Hattie is already a year and half old! I thought the first year of her life went fast... but these past six months have truly flown by!

Eighteen months is such a fun time... it's a perfect mix of them becoming independent little people coupled with the snuggly chubbiness of babies. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE this age!

With that said, Hattie is by far the most outspoken and "adventurous" of all the girls. I never once considered purchasing child safety locks before this one. I have never once had a second thought about leaving the older girls upstairs briefly while I ran down to switch laundry. I have never once had to use the buckles on the stroller. This one? Check. Check. And Check.

Other than causing all sorts of trouble.... Hattie LOVES to color, read books, and do whatever it is that her big sisters are doing. She loves to say "Bess You!" whenever she hears someone sneeze, says "Woof!" for just about ANY animal she sees, and makes a "fish face" when she sees a picture of a fish (or is hungry for goldfish crackers... ) She tries on ANY shoe that is left lying around, repeating "Shoe! Shoe!" Her vocabulary is growing every day. Just this past week, we've added "color" (crayons), "poop" (pointing to her butt when she has a full diaper) and "cookie." She also (very clearly) says "Iwanna..." followed by some mumble-jumble telling the world what it is she wants. While she throws a good tantrum anytime I try to buckle her into the shopping cart at the grocery store, she also gives great kisses and is quite cuddly with her "Ella" (stuffed elephant) and an episode of "Elmo." So.... I guess we'll keep her! :)

Hattie's 18 month appointment was last week. She weighed in at 22lb 12 oz and was 32.25 inches tall. Just for fun, I looked back to compare her to the other girls at 18 mos. She was almost identical in height and weight to Lucy (22lb 11oz/32.75inches) but a bit smaller than Maggie (23lb 8oz/32.75inches) I also thought it might be fun to compare what they all looked like at 18 months. Because I'm their mom and know them all as little individual people, I also think they look so different than one another. Comparing these pictures, though... there is quite a strong resemblance! 

  Hattie- 18 months (September 2013) 

 Lucy- 18 months (December 2010)

Maggie- 18 months (October 2008)

Commute

Last Friday after naps, the girls and I took the drive down to Crystal Lake to visit Dan at work and take the girls to Portillo's for some famous chocolate cake (oh, and dinner, too!) We've been talking about taking this trip since he started working there over 2 years ago, but we finally did it this past week. 

The GPS said it would take about an hour. 

The GPS lied. 

It took almost TWO hours. And it sucked. A lot. It was a lot of in and out of little towns- very stop and go. 

After dinner, Dan took the 2 bigger girls with him, and I followed him on a different route home. This ride was a bit faster (only an hour and 15 minutes!) but so, so boring. Through farm fields and more small towns. There truly is no "direct" route to Crystal Lake... but let me tell you. I have a newfound love and respect for my husband- who drives that awful ride every day, TWICE a day. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. 

On a happier note- Dan's office is really cool, his co-workers are super friendly, and the chocolate cake was delicious!

Pears!

We have a pear tree in our backyard. I hate pears, so I kind of just ignore it. Last year the girls ate one pear each from the tree before I went back to ignoring it. This year, I have some more time on my hands, so Dan got the ladder out and picked all the pears from the tree last week. We had to get them early, or the darn squirrels eat them first. We let them ripen... and this morning I spent a better part of three hours peeling, coring, cutting and canning all the pears with  a cinnamon pear recipe Dan came across on the internet. Don't get me wrong... I'm still not a fan of pears, but I have to admit- the color of the ripe pears was amazing...  Yeah, I'm a nerd... but they were so, so pretty! I wish the basket of fake ones I have on my kitchen table as a centerpiece were as colorful! 

Oh, and three hours of work? We managed 6 (SIX?!?!) quarts of cinnamon pears!

Lucy Heads to 4K!

This morning Lucy boarded the bus to 4K! She was all smiles, and excited to go. I had a bit of a breakdown once I saw her little self get on that bus. She was so bitty I couldn't even see her to wave goodbye to her in the window! 

While Maggie is more confident and always ready to take on new adventures, Lucy is a bit more cautious and (surprise!) quiet in new situations and unfamiliar surroundings. Just last week, we stopped at school to fill out some paperwork, only to learn the teacher that Lucy had met during Open House would not, in fact, be her teacher- as they were interviewing for an additional teacher that afternoon (two days before the class arrived... poor, poor teacher....) As a mom, this tore me up inside, but I had to put on my "happy and excited" face for Lucy- she is so, so sensitive and I didn't want her to see me stressing about the situation. But... it all seemed to go well today! She hopped off the bus, but wouldn't tell me ANYTHING about her day- until we saw Gramma and Papa because "she didn't want to tell the same stuff five times." Um, OK. 

Traditionally, our "first day of school" dinners are kind of a big deal. There's a "kid-chosen-and-approved" meal, presents, and normally Gramma and Papa are invited to hear all about the big day. Tonight, I have a meeting to attend at Maggie's school, so Lucy got a special "first day of school" lunch instead. She got to choose the restaurant ("Burger Kingdom with the playground!") and there were still presents, of course! 

 Her sisters were just as excited as she was for the school bus to arrive!

 Waiting for the bus... 

 My brave, brave girl!

 All smiles at Burger Kingdom!