I have never been a big fan of New Year's celebrations. I would much rather crawl into my warm bed and wake up to a new year than stay up late with a bunch of loud drunks (well... maybe I felt differently in college... ) This year, however, New Year's couldn't come soon enough. To say I was OVER 2015 would be putting it mildly. The past 12 months brought our family it's fair share of struggles, and I was more than ready to slap a new calendar up on the wall and get a fresh start.
In the spring, my mom suffered a fall after her knee replacement surgery, and ended up with a fractured back. She spent a week in the hospital, followed by more time in a rehab facility. Because of the pain medication, those weeks were lost on her. She "missed" Maggie's birthday, her First Communion, and only started turning a corner in time to for Ruby to be born. I selfishly feel cheated... for not being able to enjoy my last few weeks of pregnancy because I was stressed and worried about my mom, but even more so because I wasn't able to truly share those last few weeks WITH her. She wasn't able to come help me wash and fold onesies and get the baby's room ready. She wasn't able to visit at the hospital during my labor. She wasn't able to pick up the baby for a long time and was only able to hold her for short bouts before it just hurt too bad. I know she feels cheated, too... and it's breaks my heart a little bit to know she won't get that time or those opportunities back.
Knowing Ruby was our last baby, I was looking forward to going into labor naturally (I was induced with all the other girls) and having a quick and easy delivery.. she was my fourth, after all! After an elevated blood pressure reading and my "advanced maternal age" (ahem... 36) I was scheduled for ANOTHER induction. I was not pleased. Baby was not ready. I labored for 30 hours before she was born. Thank GOD for my amazingly patient OB who truly believed in me and didn't rush me into a c-section (and was able to manually turn my breach baby with some olive oil from the hospital kitchen!) Obviously it all ended amazingly, it just wasn't the experience I wished for.
In early fall, I lost my aunt. Because hers is not my story to tell, I won't. She was sick for a long time, and it was a sad and heartbreaking journey. She deserves so many more words, but at the same time, there are not enough words to write that would accurately tell how much she's missed by us all.
The same week we lost my aunt, Dan lost his job. We were blindsided, shocked, and numb. Again, not my story to tell... but it was a stressful and tense six weeks. We chose together not to tell the girls, as we didn't want to add any more sadness or worry to their lives. It all ended well, however, and Dan started a new job, much closer to home, in mid-November.
So... in short, 2015 was not a "banner" year for me. While I want time to SLLOOOOWW down (my baby will be 8 months old tomorrow!) I am more than ready to see what 2016 has in store. There's a trip to Disney World in the works. I will throw my final "first" birthday party and become a mommy to a 9, 7, 4 and 1 year old. Hattie will begin 4K in the fall (huh, what?) Maggie will compete in the state archery tournament, and Lucy will probably lose more teeth. Dan will bid on new construction projects and hopefully shoot a deer (we can hope, right?) Our family will laugh a bunch, fight a little, love a lot. And, while the "bad" of 2015 were BIG "bads," there was also a ton of little "AWESOMES" like these:
Ok, this one might fall into a BIG "awesome" category!
"As the year comes to an end, don't look back on yesterday's disappointments.
Look ahead to God's promises yet to unfold." - Buky Ojelabi
