Cheeks

Yesterday I went for my first non-stress, fetal-monitoring, ultrasound, blah, blah, blah appointment. After writing and posting about it last week, and reading friends comment that these same appointments had taken up to an hour.... I was a wee bit stressed. As my due dates nears, my professional workload is increasing as I try to tie up a million loose ends before I go on maternity leave through the end of the school year. I squeezed this first appointment in between a handful of home visits, Hattie's nap time, and (fingers crossed) some grocery shopping. My appointment was scheduled for 2 pm. I got there a few minutes early, was weighed in, BP checked (totally within normal range, by the way) and on the ultrasound table a few minutes before 2:00. By 2:06, they had gotten the pictures and measurements they needed, and I was able to WATCH MY BABY SUCK ITS THUMB on a 3D ultrasound for a few minutes. Um, there are no words. In three prior pregnancies, I've only had the fuzzy black and white ultrasounds. This was my first time with the 3D kind, and all I did was cry. I got to see my baby in real time, moving it's little fists around in front of its face. Scrunch up it's little mouth and nose. Move its head from side to side. It was so incredibly awesome. 

And, while I risk sounding like a cold, uncaring mom with this next admission, I'm saying it anyway. I enjoy being pregnant (mostly) Feeling a teeny human move around inside of your belly is an indescribable feeling. Watching a baby's heartbeat that I MADE beat inside of me on an ultrasound screen is super cool. BUT.... there's always this tiny feeling of disconnect. Yes, I have a baby in my belly. Yes, I love it because it's mine. But.... it's a baby I haven't MET yet. A baby I haven't SEEN yet. I think I was in love with the IDEA of the baby growing inside of me... more so than the actual baby.... because, well....  it never really seemed real until I could hold them and smell them and feel them lay on my chest. Until yesterday. When I CLEARLY saw my baby's face. And hands. And chubby cheeks. And broad, Lucy-like nose. 

And holy cow, I am so freakin' in love.

AMA

AMA.... stands for "Advanced Maternal Age." So fun. So "politically correct." In the obstetrics world, I'm old. I get to see a perinatologist in addition to my OB/GYN. It doesn't help that I had ONE visit in my records (from the fall of 2013 when I had a major life change and quit my job to become a stay-at-home mom and had a minor breakdown as I adjusted to my new normal) where my blood pressure was a bit elevated during a routine doctor's visit. Now, in addition to my AMA status, I'm also flagged as hypertensive.... lovely. With that said, I haven't had a doctor's appointment SINCE that single visit in 2013 with an elevated BP reading, but they are still closely monitoring me. 

So.... what does that mean for me? Up to this point, not much. I had a few extra ultrasounds along the way- which has been kind of fun. With Maggie, I only had a single ultrasound at 20 weeks, so I am enjoying all the extra "glimpses" at baby this time around. Plus, my perinatologist is great- he is so laid-back and easy to talk to, which helps a ton. This past Monday, I had to go for a routine "maternal-fetal medicine" ultrasound appointment, where they simply check baby's heartbeat and take some simple measurements (FYI: Baby is weighing in at a whopping 4lbs 3oz) It also happened to be my mom's 65th birthday, so I brought her along! Baby was super cooperative (happy birthday, Gramma!) and we got the BEST ultrasound picture ever! It was so clear... and for the first time in four babies, I have an ultrasound picture that looks like a BABY- not a Skeletor-like version of one. Chubby cheeks, plump nose, and (gramma swears!) a head of wispy hair. 

I think baby might have been super cooperative, too- because he/she knew that the best was yet to come. Starting next Monday, I get to go for TWICE weekly non-stress monitoring. Can you say, "Yay?" (NOT!) Weekly, I will get a quick ultrasound to check baby, then get strapped to monitors to watch baby's movement and heart rate for 20-30 minutes. And... as a working mother of three OTHER children, finding time for all of these appointments isn't supposed to raise my blood pressure. HA! But... it is what it is... and with only seven weeks left (give or take) I'm just going to go with the flow and enjoy laying in a dark, quiet room for 20 minutes twice a week. Maybe I can take a little nap???